The Cobb Prob
The Cobb Prob
The Cobb Prob
The Swampiest Swamp
A Map, a Lantern, and the Long Walk Home
Down in the Swampiest Swamp of them all,
Where banners say “Blessed!” but the truths feel small,
At twilight a hush drops a lid on the light-
Spin skims the surface while facts take flight.
The Drubbs wear big grins and the biggest lapel,
And sell you a map to the “Liberty Dell.”
But follow their arrows and where do you stop?
A gift shop of power with a pay-to-play shop.
They waltz the Badge-and-Gavel Shuffle so neat-
The By-Law Boogie has a procedural beat.
“Point of order!”-tap-tap-“Point of order again!”
Till discussion is flattened as thin as a pen.
The Credential Carousel spins round and round,
Where tickets go missing and voices aren’t found.
“Your form wasn’t stamped with the stamp we adore!”
“Which stamp?” “The one from the room with no door.”
There’s the Pledgey-Pledge quiz and the Loyalty Latch,
Where unity’s preached with a gate and a hatch.
“Agree first, then speak!” says the velvet-club guard-
“Compliance comes easy when thinking is hard.”
The Whisper Mill whirrs with a humbuggy whine,
Brewing rumor-tea from a crocodile brine.
They serve it in cups with a sugar-sweet slant:
“Now sip this suspicion-and hush, don’t recant.”
But watch how the darkness begins its slow swim-
At two in the morning the lanterns go dim.
The Night-Planner Newts in their hush-hush boots
Reposition the pegs and repot the roots.
The calendar shifts with a soft rubber sigh,
Rooms get renamed as the minutes drift by;
They redraw the seating, renumber the rows-
A shadowy shuffle where nobody knows.
For swampy intentions love low, moonlit angles-
They slide the goalposts with quiet night-tangles.
“Adjourn for decorum,” they murmur just right-
While plans are replanted in cover of night.
We end where we started: a map and a choice-
Follow the whisper or strengthen your voice.
If daylight is costly, then what is the cost?
What do we gain when the truth isn’t lost?
FAQ
What is an oligarchy, and why should I care?
An oligarchy is when a small group of people hold most of the power — making decisions behind closed doors, often without input from the wider community. It matters because when power is concentrated, the voices of everyday citizens get ignored.
Why does this matter for regular Republicans in Cobb?
Because your voice, your precinct, and your values should matter — not just the opinions of a select few. When we allow power to concentrate, the party stops being representative of its people.
Why do you think an oligarchy exists in the Cobb GOP?
The signs are hard to ignore. A small group of insiders have controlled key decisions — from nominations to finances — often without transparency or broad input. Many grassroots voices have been sidelined, and important roles are passed within the same circle. When leadership positions and major decisions are limited to just a few people, rather than being open to the full body of engaged Republicans, that’s not democracy — that’s oligarchy. CobbProb.com exists to shine a light on this and call for accountability.
Are there any good examples of oligarchies and their effects?
Absolutely. One of the most famous examples in American history is Tammany Hall — a political organization in New York City that was run by a small group of insiders for decades. They controlled elections, handed out favors, and blocked outsiders from participating unless they were loyal to the inner circle. While it started as a grassroots movement, it eventually became an oligarchy that prioritized loyalty over merit, leading to corruption, voter suppression, and public distrust. It shows how even democratic systems can be hijacked by a few — if no one is watching.
Is Cobb County’s GOP run like an oligarchy?
Unfortunately, it seems that way. A few individuals have made key decisions without transparency or accountability — leaving many hardworking grassroots members out of the loop. CobbProb.com was created to spotlight this issue and restore balance.
Is this about tearing down the party?
No — it’s about building it back better. Sunshine is the best disinfectant. When we expose unhealthy power structures, we can strengthen the party with integrity, transparency, and strong grassroots involvement.
Why do you think the Cobb GOP is being run like an oligarchy?
When a small group can maintain control with minimal participation, there's no motivation to expand or empower the broader base. Here’s what we’ve seen: Less than 300 delegates voted at the 2025 County Convention, despite 1278 delegate seats being available. That’s less than 25% representation. The Vice Chair of Grassroots, the very person responsible for filling those delegate seats, failed to do so — and instead of being held accountable, was brought onto the new Chair’s leadership team. That’s not reform — that’s reward for gatekeeping. With such a small voting base, just a few dozen well-placed votes can secure internal elections. Keeping participation low protects the influence of the few. Unless challenged they will never recruit new members. Meanwhile, 160,000 Cobb residents voted for Trump in 2024, and the county has over 760,000 people — but a tiny circle decides who leads the Cobb GOP. These aren’t just coincidences — they’re classic signs of oligarchy: low transparency, closed leadership loops, and zero incentive to resolve it. CobbProb.com exists to expose this, educate voters, and rebuild a party that actually represents its people — not just its power brokers.
How do we fix this?
By organizing the grassroots and filling the empty seats. In 2024, over 160,000 Republicans in Cobb County voted for Donald Trump — yet only a few hundred are active in the local party. If just 1% of those voters — 1,600 people — got involved as delegates, precinct leaders, or committee members, we could completely reshape the Cobb GOP. Our target is 2.5% — around 4,000 engaged conservatives — enough to dismantle the oligarchy and restore local control to the grassroots.
What is an oligarchy, and why should I care?
An oligarchy is when a small group of people hold most of the power — making decisions behind closed doors, often without input from the wider community. It matters because when power is concentrated, the voices of everyday citizens get ignored.
Why does this matter for regular Republicans in Cobb?
Because your voice, your precinct, and your values should matter — not just the opinions of a select few. When we allow power to concentrate, the party stops being representative of its people.
Why do you think an oligarchy exists in the Cobb GOP?
The signs are hard to ignore. A small group of insiders have controlled key decisions — from nominations to finances — often without transparency or broad input. Many grassroots voices have been sidelined, and important roles are passed within the same circle. When leadership positions and major decisions are limited to just a few people, rather than being open to the full body of engaged Republicans, that’s not democracy — that’s oligarchy. CobbProb.com exists to shine a light on this and call for accountability.
Are there any good examples of oligarchies and their effects?
Absolutely. One of the most famous examples in American history is Tammany Hall — a political organization in New York City that was run by a small group of insiders for decades. They controlled elections, handed out favors, and blocked outsiders from participating unless they were loyal to the inner circle. While it started as a grassroots movement, it eventually became an oligarchy that prioritized loyalty over merit, leading to corruption, voter suppression, and public distrust. It shows how even democratic systems can be hijacked by a few — if no one is watching.
Is Cobb County’s GOP run like an oligarchy?
Unfortunately, it seems that way. A few individuals have made key decisions without transparency or accountability — leaving many hardworking grassroots members out of the loop. CobbProb.com was created to spotlight this issue and restore balance.
Is this about tearing down the party?
No — it’s about building it back better. Sunshine is the best disinfectant. When we expose unhealthy power structures, we can strengthen the party with integrity, transparency, and strong grassroots involvement.
Why do you think the Cobb GOP is being run like an oligarchy?
When a small group can maintain control with minimal participation, there's no motivation to expand or empower the broader base. Here’s what we’ve seen: Less than 300 delegates voted at the 2025 County Convention, despite 1278 delegate seats being available. That’s less than 25% representation. The Vice Chair of Grassroots, the very person responsible for filling those delegate seats, failed to do so — and instead of being held accountable, was brought onto the new Chair’s leadership team. That’s not reform — that’s reward for gatekeeping. With such a small voting base, just a few dozen well-placed votes can secure internal elections. Keeping participation low protects the influence of the few. Unless challenged they will never recruit new members. Meanwhile, 160,000 Cobb residents voted for Trump in 2024, and the county has over 760,000 people — but a tiny circle decides who leads the Cobb GOP. These aren’t just coincidences — they’re classic signs of oligarchy: low transparency, closed leadership loops, and zero incentive to resolve it. CobbProb.com exists to expose this, educate voters, and rebuild a party that actually represents its people — not just its power brokers.
How do we fix this?
By organizing the grassroots and filling the empty seats. In 2024, over 160,000 Republicans in Cobb County voted for Donald Trump — yet only a few hundred are active in the local party. If just 1% of those voters — 1,600 people — got involved as delegates, precinct leaders, or committee members, we could completely reshape the Cobb GOP. Our target is 2.5% — around 4,000 engaged conservatives — enough to dismantle the oligarchy and restore local control to the grassroots.
What is an oligarchy, and why should I care?
An oligarchy is when a small group of people hold most of the power — making decisions behind closed doors, often without input from the wider community. It matters because when power is concentrated, the voices of everyday citizens get ignored.
Why does this matter for regular Republicans in Cobb?
Because your voice, your precinct, and your values should matter — not just the opinions of a select few. When we allow power to concentrate, the party stops being representative of its people.
Why do you think an oligarchy exists in the Cobb GOP?
The signs are hard to ignore. A small group of insiders have controlled key decisions — from nominations to finances — often without transparency or broad input. Many grassroots voices have been sidelined, and important roles are passed within the same circle. When leadership positions and major decisions are limited to just a few people, rather than being open to the full body of engaged Republicans, that’s not democracy — that’s oligarchy. CobbProb.com exists to shine a light on this and call for accountability.
Are there any good examples of oligarchies and their effects?
Absolutely. One of the most famous examples in American history is Tammany Hall — a political organization in New York City that was run by a small group of insiders for decades. They controlled elections, handed out favors, and blocked outsiders from participating unless they were loyal to the inner circle. While it started as a grassroots movement, it eventually became an oligarchy that prioritized loyalty over merit, leading to corruption, voter suppression, and public distrust. It shows how even democratic systems can be hijacked by a few — if no one is watching.
Is Cobb County’s GOP run like an oligarchy?
Unfortunately, it seems that way. A few individuals have made key decisions without transparency or accountability — leaving many hardworking grassroots members out of the loop. CobbProb.com was created to spotlight this issue and restore balance.
Is this about tearing down the party?
No — it’s about building it back better. Sunshine is the best disinfectant. When we expose unhealthy power structures, we can strengthen the party with integrity, transparency, and strong grassroots involvement.
Why do you think the Cobb GOP is being run like an oligarchy?
When a small group can maintain control with minimal participation, there's no motivation to expand or empower the broader base. Here’s what we’ve seen: Less than 300 delegates voted at the 2025 County Convention, despite 1278 delegate seats being available. That’s less than 25% representation. The Vice Chair of Grassroots, the very person responsible for filling those delegate seats, failed to do so — and instead of being held accountable, was brought onto the new Chair’s leadership team. That’s not reform — that’s reward for gatekeeping. With such a small voting base, just a few dozen well-placed votes can secure internal elections. Keeping participation low protects the influence of the few. Unless challenged they will never recruit new members. Meanwhile, 160,000 Cobb residents voted for Trump in 2024, and the county has over 760,000 people — but a tiny circle decides who leads the Cobb GOP. These aren’t just coincidences — they’re classic signs of oligarchy: low transparency, closed leadership loops, and zero incentive to resolve it. CobbProb.com exists to expose this, educate voters, and rebuild a party that actually represents its people — not just its power brokers.
How do we fix this?
By organizing the grassroots and filling the empty seats. In 2024, over 160,000 Republicans in Cobb County voted for Donald Trump — yet only a few hundred are active in the local party. If just 1% of those voters — 1,600 people — got involved as delegates, precinct leaders, or committee members, we could completely reshape the Cobb GOP. Our target is 2.5% — around 4,000 engaged conservatives — enough to dismantle the oligarchy and restore local control to the grassroots.
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Sign up today.
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Cobb Prob is powered by satire, stubbornness, and caffeine.
If you’ve laughed, raised an eyebrow, or whispered “wait… is that legal?” —
buy a tea and help keep the Chairbeasts nervous.
Concerned?
Sign up today.
Then follow us on X
Cobb Prob is powered by satire, stubbornness, and caffeine.
If you’ve laughed, raised an eyebrow, or whispered “wait… is that legal?” —
buy a tea and help keep the Chairbeasts nervous.
Concerned?
Sign up today.
Then follow us on X
Cobb Prob is powered by satire, stubbornness, and caffeine.
If you’ve laughed, raised an eyebrow, or whispered “wait… is that legal?” —
buy a tea and help keep the Chairbeasts nervous.
The Cobb Prob is a work of satire and creative commentary.
All characters, stories, and illustrations are entirely fictional and exist solely to entertain, inform, and provoke thought.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional.
If you happen to see yourself in these tales — that’s between you and your conscience.
© 2025 CobbProb LLC. All rights reserved. CobbProb™, Lantern Line™, the lantern logo, and related marks are trademarks of CobbProb LLC (registration pending).
By submitting text you confirm it’s your original work and you grant CobbProb LLC a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, sublicensable license to edit, design, publish, print, and sell the work with attribution. We may credit your handle/name unless you request anonymity.
The Cobb Prob is a work of satire and creative commentary.
All characters, stories, and illustrations are entirely fictional and exist solely to entertain, inform, and provoke thought.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional.
If you happen to see yourself in these tales — that’s between you and your conscience.
© 2025 CobbProb LLC. All rights reserved. CobbProb™, Lantern Line™, the lantern logo, and related marks are trademarks of CobbProb LLC (registration pending).
By submitting text you confirm it’s your original work and you grant CobbProb LLC a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, sublicensable license to edit, design, publish, print, and sell the work with attribution. We may credit your handle/name unless you request anonymity.
The Cobb Prob is a work of satire and creative commentary.
All characters, stories, and illustrations are entirely fictional and exist solely to entertain, inform, and provoke thought.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional.
If you happen to see yourself in these tales — that’s between you and your conscience.
© 2025 CobbProb LLC. All rights reserved. CobbProb™, Lantern Line™, the lantern logo, and related marks are trademarks of CobbProb LLC (registration pending).
By submitting text you confirm it’s your original work and you grant CobbProb LLC a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, sublicensable license to edit, design, publish, print, and sell the work with attribution. We may credit your handle/name unless you request anonymity.