The Drubb Playbook
How to lose while staying in charge
1. Preload the Slate
Write the list before the meeting begins. If people ask where it came from, say, "It's just tradition."
2. Silence by Procedure
Weaponize the rules. Tell members they're "out of order" when they're just asking questions.
3. Unity at All Costs
Shame dissenters by calling them divisive. Redefine "unity" to mean "do what we say."
4. Host Meetings for Applause, Not Decisions
Put on a show with banners and speeches. Make sure nothing real is voted on.
5. Use Loyalty Tests
Ask "Are you one of us?" instead of "Do you have a good idea?"
6. Bury the Bylaws
Keep the rulebook vague. Rewrite it when necessary. Claim every change was "clarification."
7. Crowd Control
Fill the room with insiders. Stack credentialing. Block newcomers with paperwork.
8. Create Paper Trails That Lead Nowhere
Take notes, form committees, assign tasks—then make sure none of it matters.
9. Always Smile
Be nice. Be polite. Be impenetrably fake. That way, anyone who complains looks like the problem.
10. Let the Opposition Win... Quietly
Don’t fight the real enemy. Spend all your energy policing your own. That way, you lose elections - but keep control.
WARNING: Following this playbook will cost you voters, trust, and the future. But you'll keep your title—at least for a while.